Freddie video

We had a meeting on Friday with the wonderful staff from UHCW who looked after us so well at new year. 

It was a privilege for us to see how this poorly wee scrap who had been covered in tubes and gunk just seemed to glow following a bath and warm cuddles. We'd like to share that experience with the other few people who knew Freddie by sharing this video which was shot in the last few hours of his life.

Freddie Bean - Funeral Script

Freddie James Bean

Humanist Funeral Script

Son of Simon and Lizzy, brother to Sam and Tilda

29th December 2014 – 31st December 2014

Ceremony to welcome, name, and say goodbye to Freddie

Friday 16th January 2015

Sun Rising Natural Burial Ground, Tysoe, Warwickshire

Celebrant: Sylvie Summer, British Humanist Association

Welcome and introduction

Hello everyone and welcome to Sun Rising on this sunny January day. 
We are here to say Hello to Freddie James Bean as well as to say goodbye. 
Freddie came into the world on the 29th December, and left it again, all too soon, at midnight on the 31st. 

This ceremony is about acknowledging Freddie’s life and cementing his place in his family. Simon and Lizzy want to share the love they have for him with those who helped them most in their time of need, and to ask you to join them in saying “Hello” to Freddie, in naming him, and then in saying “Goodbye”.
My name is Sylvie Summer; I’m from the British Humanist Association.  Lizzy and Simon and I have worked together to create this ceremony for Freddie. 
  
In humanist ceremonies, we feel it is important to celebrate life, however short, and today we want to make sure that Freddie is both welcomed and recognised as an important person who was unique, loved and treasured for the short time he was alive. 

I know that some of you have active faiths and will find it comforting at this time to say good-bye in the way that is right for you. There will be time later in the ceremony when you can say a private prayer as you wish. 

Thoughts on life and loss 

We can usually accept death calmly and with resignation when someone has lived a long, full and worthwhile life. But Freddie’s death feels especially cruel and senseless when he had barely begun his life. 

You may be feeling many different things right now:  a sense of unreality and numbness; shock, confusion, sadness and guilt; and also great sympathy and love for Simon, Lizzy, Sam and Tilda. 

Despite these feelings, I do hope you will leave here today knowing that there is a glimmer of light – that glimmer is the love you had for Freddie, a love you still have and will always have.  Two of the things that make us uniquely human are our powers of love and imagination – through those, Freddie will always be with you.

About Freddie 

As most parents will, Simon and Lizzy had many a conversation during Lizzy’s pregnancy about what this bright new life might turn out like. Up until the 29th of December, Freddie was shaping up to be quite the little hooligan. 

Affectionately nicknamed “BamBam” and “Scrappy Doo” he had a habit of making his presence loudly known, using his mum’s tummy as a punchbag. Much to Sam and Tilda’s amazement, if he was awake he would punch or kick their hands off their mum’s tummy. Lizzy became more than used to getting a foot stuck in her ribs at the most inopportune moment and his growth was ahead of the curve to say the least. 

In the same way that it was clear from their own time in utero that Sam was going to be quiet and thoughtful, and that Tilda was going to be noisy and passionate, Simon and Lizzy were sure that Freddie was destined to be a little scrapper. It may well be wishful thinking, but in their mind’s eye he was destined to be a little tree climber with a great appetite for life. 

Freddie had a bright life laid out beyond him, full of unrealised promise. Although, as we know events transpired against him, Freddie nevertheless was born, he snatched at life, he took what he could and he hung on to every precious scrap of it he could get. 

Naming Freddie

We will now welcome Freddie and name him. The name ‘Freddie’ was chosen for no reason other than Simon and Lizzy both loved it, which was great because they couldn’t agree on any other name. 

Freddie’s middle name was after Simon’s brother James whom he loves and respects very much. 

Lizzy and Simon say:

"We welcome you with love into our lives and we name you Freddie James Bean"

Everyone to repeat:

"We name you Freddie James Bean"

Sylvie says to Freddie:

"Freddie, today your family and friends embrace and protect you. May your name and your memory always live in the hearts and minds of those who love you." 

About Freddie - Stories following birth 

Freddie was hurried into the world on Dec 29th, but unavoidable events meant his bright light had already been dimmed. Around him was utter chaos, but he had come into the world sleeping. 

Needless to say, the days following Freddie’s birth were hard-going for all concerned. Rather than taking the risk of prolonging any suffering, Simon and Lizzy made a decision to withdraw support. 

During this hard time Simon and Lizzy feel eternally grateful for the support, the courage, and the fond care that Freddie, and they, were shown by the medical team at University Hospital Coventry. A few members of the team which Simon and Lizzy viewed as real ‘superstars’ have been invited along and are most welcome guests here. 

During Freddie’s last day the family are thankful to have got to say goodbye to Freddie and the close family was able to have a few cuddles, kisses and share their love for him. 

Freddie went on to last a further 12 hours, which proved to be the most precious Simon and Lizzy could have imagined. 

In their most happy of afternoons, Simon and Lizzy got to bath Freddie, to dress him, hold him to their breast and sing to him. They delighted in taking photographs and videos, in talking to him of their dreams as well as their pain and, whilst it was really nothing of the sort, in sharing some kind of normality with him. 

Clearly with a dramatic sense of timing Freddie hung on until the stroke of midnight, and took his last breath in his parents’ arms. 

Hopes and Wishes

When we name our newborn babies, we have no idea what their potential in life will be, but all new parents have hopes and wishes for their child; here are Simon, Lizzy, Sam and Tilda’s hopes and wishes for Freddie.

Simon’s hopes and wishes

Freddie, my beautiful boy, I’m so sorry that for the short time you got to spend in this world; it was my bloody boring voice by your bedside that you had to endure talking nonsense and singing to you. 

I so wish things could have been different. You are meant to be here with us, crying lustily, gobbling down milk from your mama’s teat, shitting in your nappy, driving us barmy like newborns are supposed to do. 

It seems only yesterday you were so alive in your mama’s belly. I so wanted to show you the world with Tilda and Sam, to watch you all flourish and grow and support each other. You have been denied the promise of a beautiful life, and they have been denied the joy of being a big brother and big sister and in showing you all that’s good in the world. 

I dreamed of discovering new things with you, of acting the goat and making up new worlds with you. I just wish you could have known how truly, truly loved you are. My most enduring memory will always be of cradling you in my arms, of talking of my undying love for you and of feeling so rapturously lucky that I got to see a brief glimpse of you, glowing... beautiful. I remember saying to you “I see you Freddie” and I feel that I really did. No matter what I do in life I will bring you along Freddie and I will be loving you always. 

Lizzy’s hopes and wishes 

My darling Freddie, I was so excited about meeting you, I hoped we would swim together and you would sit and play on the lawn while I gardened. I thought we would share baths and walk around the village before going to collect your big sister from nursery. 

I pictured Sam returning from school and scooping you up and showering you with big brother love. 

We dreamed of being the ‘Bean clan’ - a party of five, laughing and crying and going on big adventures all together. In my heart Freddie I will take you on all our adventures. 

Sam’s hopes and wishes

Freddie, I was so looking forward to watching you grow up. 

Playing football with you in the park, going on family outings, teaching you all the little bits to life. 

I wanted to look after you as every big brother should. I'm just so grateful for the short time we shared together, to get to hold you and love you for that short time is something that I'll never ever forget. 

I just wish that the end result could have been much different. You'll always be in my heart, my wonderful little brother. 

Tilda’s hopes and wishes

Freddie, I wanted to feed you a bottle, to give you baths, to play with you when you were bigger and to show you round the soft play. I love you Freddie, I hope to visit you often. Kiss Kiss.

Freddie’s extended family

Today Freddie is surrounded by those who loved him and who looked forward so much to meeting him – his parents, big brother Sam, and big sister Tilda. Everyone in the family has been wonderful and special thanks go to his Grandma and Grandad Waters and Nanna and Grandad Bean, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

Reading from Rabindranath Tragore - read by Pat Waters

Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet.

Let it not be a death but completeness.

Let love melt into memory and pain into songs.

Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings over the nest.

Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the night.

Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, and say your last words in silence.

I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way.

Rosemary for remembrance

Sam will now hand out some sprigs of rosemary from Lizzy’s garden. Rosemary means remembrance. In a short while we’ll be making our way to lay Freddie to rest. We’ll offer our sprigs of rosemary to Freddie, so do hang on to your sprig.

In Freddie’s last hours Lizzy and Simon sang to Freddie and played him simple lullabies. This piece of music “Little bird, Little bird” was the last song that he heard. 





http://youtu.be/tz6WRiNwujQ

Goodbyes to Freddie

We have now reached the time when we say Goodbye to Freddie. Let the love you share for Freddie and your love for each other be your strength.  Freddie will always be with you – his death has taken so much from you, but his brief flicker of life has also given you so much. 

Into the darkness and warmth of the earth

We lay you down

Into the sadness and smiles of our memories

We lay you down

Into the cycle of living and dying and rising again

We lay you down

May you rest in peace, in fulfilment, in our loving embrace.